I know this is a common thing for all people, especially those who have recently graduated from college, but where did all my friends go? It's tough to keep in touch with everyone once we've all left college and scattered around the country. I'm lucky that I came back to my home town and there are still friends from high school around, but even they have moved around too. We no longer all live within 10 minutes from one another. They've all grown up, gotten married, and bought houses out in the middle of nowhere. I see them maybe once a month, which is more than how often I saw them when I was in college, but it's still not much.
As for my college friends, they're all at least 3 hours away. Some are still in PA but half way or the entire way across the state. Some are in DC which isn't really that far away, but to think of driving 5 hours after being at work 45 hours a week is not exactly appealing. And it's hard to even keep in touch through the phone or email. I send text messages while at work and sometimes emails too, but they're hardly the same. I haven't spoken to my best friend from undergrad for a week. It's sad. We roomed together for 3 years talking all the time and now we hardly speak to each other at all.
Not only is there the physical divide between my friends and me, there is also a mental divide. Some of my friends have been working real jobs for two years now, saved up money, gotten married, and even want to start having kids. One side of me is really jealous because I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I want to have that too. But at the same time, neither of us has been working steady 9-5 jobs at all until recently. My boyfriend probably will never work a job like that and is looking for a new job, and I just started my job a month and don't even know if it will last. So because I don't feel like I'm on the same page as these people, I don't always want to be around them. They just show me what I want and can't have right now. Childish as it may be, it's how I feel. And my boyfriend and I both have friends like that. We want to spend time with them because they're our friends, but at the same time, I know I will come away from my time with them feeling like a screw up.
The other thing that gets to me is the fact that I don't ever have the energy to do anything. Unless it's the weekend, I'm spent by the time I get home from work. I could call one of my friends who lives far away and talk with them, but I don't. I could send emails to people, but I don't. If I'm curious about someone, I'll go on Facebook or something and look at their status. How messed up is that? Instead of calling someone to see how they're doing, I just check an online post. And I know I never update mine, so what makes me think that these people will update theirs?
This is such a whiny post. But at least I'm getting it out of my head. Sometimes writing it down helps to clear it from your head and then it won't affect your mood as much. We'll see about that I guess.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Being a temp sucks
Introduction: Hi, I'm 24 years old and trying to start my 'adult' life now. I graduated from grad school in May and found a job recently that is hardly what I expected I'd get after graduation. This blog will just be a way for me to vent about trying to find my way in the 'real world'. I named it my quarter life crisis because I feel like I fit the symptoms and I know that a lot of other people my age feel the same. If you haven't heard the term before, visit Quarter Life Crisis. So I don't know how long this blog will keep my interest, or anyone else's for that matter, but it'll be therapeutic.
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So I'm quickly learning about what it's like to be at the bottom of an organization. I've been with this company for 4 weeks now, but I'm definitely the lowest on the totem pole. I know that I make the least amount of money in the company since I was given access to the salary information today. It's less than encouraging to know that 6 years of college, 3 degrees, and over $100,000 spent on college gets me an assistant position that someone with only a high school diploma is also qualified for. I have to keep telling myself that it's good experience and can lead to better things one day, inside or outside of this company.
The other part of my job that is awful is my temporary status. I applied for a regular full time position with this company and they hired me as a temp because I could work for them immediately. I'm still 'in consideration' for the position I applied for, but I have this temporary thing until the end of the month. I guess they were still interviewing people when I started and me being temporary would make it easy for them to dump me if I wasn't working out. I still don't like being a temp though. Being a temp doesn't really suit my personality in the first place since I like to have a plan for everything, but I've gotten over that. The thing that still gets to me is what the temporary status means to my coworkers. Some completely ignore me and act like I'm not there unless they need me for something, or they want to critique my performance. I guess they figure I will be gone soon enough and they don't need to care about the way they treat me. Hopefully I can get the regular full time position and then return the treatment on them (although that wouldn't be very nice of me and won't get me very far with the company). The other thing I heard from coworkers was that they thought I was from a temp agency, which causes even more of a divide between me and my coworkers. I did some research on the divide between temps and regular employees in school two years ago and I guess now I know what all my research findings meant.
I'm pretty sure that I will be offered the regular full time position at the end of the month, but I still can't be 100% sure. I have been given many hints towards my permanence, but nothing concrete. But I don't know how much I want to work for this company. It's a 40 minute one way drive to and from work everyday and that's getting pretty old. My only other option though is to get my own place. I don't know if I'll be making enough money to afford an apartment, let alone pay for bills and get a new car. My boyfriend and I both want to get out of our parents' houses, but he's trying to find a new job and is only working 10 hours a week right now. I can't say I don't want this job though because this was one of two interviews that I had throughout the entire summer of job searching. This was the only in-person interview and obviously my only offer. It's so sad that I was only able to find one job when I applied for about 20 over the course of 2 months. I guess that's the market right now, although I feel like things are improving.
One thing that I am looking forward to, so long as I am still working at this job, is the opportunity to go to Southpointe to see the Penguins practice during lunch breaks. The Iceoplex is about 5 minutes away from my building and I can't wait for practices to start up so I can watch them skate (and maybe stalk them a little). I only want to get my Letang jersey signed and maybe a picture with him... Staalzy would be nice too :-) There's a least one other Pens fan that I work with who will be up to going to practice too, so I don't have to be a creepster by myself over there. I can't wait for hockey season to start back up again. I'm going through withdrawal and have been watching youtube videos of hockey fights and goals just to get a hockey fix. It's kinda sad actually. I read the Stanley Cup Journal on the Hockey Hall of Fame website every time they update (Tuesdays and Fridays) just to see what all the guys are doing with their time with the cup. I was spoiled during the playoffs when I could watch a game every other day, sometimes everyday. At least football season is almost here, so I can have something to watch on weekends. It's not hockey but it's a close second to watch.
So on a completely different note, I am planning a gift for my boyfriend for our anniversary at the end of the month. I'm making a scrapbook of memories from our 7 years together, but at this point it's just a vague plan that I need to get rolling. I have the memories picked out and I made a powerpoint to map out what I want to do (I'm super lame, I know). I just need to find the pictures and put the thing together. I only have 10 days to get it done and there are 20 pages to create. I'll be whipping it together at the last minute just like I always do with things like this. That's what I need to be working on and not posting useless messages on my blog. :-)
**************************************
So I'm quickly learning about what it's like to be at the bottom of an organization. I've been with this company for 4 weeks now, but I'm definitely the lowest on the totem pole. I know that I make the least amount of money in the company since I was given access to the salary information today. It's less than encouraging to know that 6 years of college, 3 degrees, and over $100,000 spent on college gets me an assistant position that someone with only a high school diploma is also qualified for. I have to keep telling myself that it's good experience and can lead to better things one day, inside or outside of this company.
The other part of my job that is awful is my temporary status. I applied for a regular full time position with this company and they hired me as a temp because I could work for them immediately. I'm still 'in consideration' for the position I applied for, but I have this temporary thing until the end of the month. I guess they were still interviewing people when I started and me being temporary would make it easy for them to dump me if I wasn't working out. I still don't like being a temp though. Being a temp doesn't really suit my personality in the first place since I like to have a plan for everything, but I've gotten over that. The thing that still gets to me is what the temporary status means to my coworkers. Some completely ignore me and act like I'm not there unless they need me for something, or they want to critique my performance. I guess they figure I will be gone soon enough and they don't need to care about the way they treat me. Hopefully I can get the regular full time position and then return the treatment on them (although that wouldn't be very nice of me and won't get me very far with the company). The other thing I heard from coworkers was that they thought I was from a temp agency, which causes even more of a divide between me and my coworkers. I did some research on the divide between temps and regular employees in school two years ago and I guess now I know what all my research findings meant.
I'm pretty sure that I will be offered the regular full time position at the end of the month, but I still can't be 100% sure. I have been given many hints towards my permanence, but nothing concrete. But I don't know how much I want to work for this company. It's a 40 minute one way drive to and from work everyday and that's getting pretty old. My only other option though is to get my own place. I don't know if I'll be making enough money to afford an apartment, let alone pay for bills and get a new car. My boyfriend and I both want to get out of our parents' houses, but he's trying to find a new job and is only working 10 hours a week right now. I can't say I don't want this job though because this was one of two interviews that I had throughout the entire summer of job searching. This was the only in-person interview and obviously my only offer. It's so sad that I was only able to find one job when I applied for about 20 over the course of 2 months. I guess that's the market right now, although I feel like things are improving.
One thing that I am looking forward to, so long as I am still working at this job, is the opportunity to go to Southpointe to see the Penguins practice during lunch breaks. The Iceoplex is about 5 minutes away from my building and I can't wait for practices to start up so I can watch them skate (and maybe stalk them a little). I only want to get my Letang jersey signed and maybe a picture with him... Staalzy would be nice too :-) There's a least one other Pens fan that I work with who will be up to going to practice too, so I don't have to be a creepster by myself over there. I can't wait for hockey season to start back up again. I'm going through withdrawal and have been watching youtube videos of hockey fights and goals just to get a hockey fix. It's kinda sad actually. I read the Stanley Cup Journal on the Hockey Hall of Fame website every time they update (Tuesdays and Fridays) just to see what all the guys are doing with their time with the cup. I was spoiled during the playoffs when I could watch a game every other day, sometimes everyday. At least football season is almost here, so I can have something to watch on weekends. It's not hockey but it's a close second to watch.
So on a completely different note, I am planning a gift for my boyfriend for our anniversary at the end of the month. I'm making a scrapbook of memories from our 7 years together, but at this point it's just a vague plan that I need to get rolling. I have the memories picked out and I made a powerpoint to map out what I want to do (I'm super lame, I know). I just need to find the pictures and put the thing together. I only have 10 days to get it done and there are 20 pages to create. I'll be whipping it together at the last minute just like I always do with things like this. That's what I need to be working on and not posting useless messages on my blog. :-)
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