Where are my friends?

I know this is a common thing for all people, especially those who have recently graduated from college, but where did all my friends go? It's tough to keep in touch with everyone once we've all left college and scattered around the country. I'm lucky that I came back to my home town and there are still friends from high school around, but even they have moved around too. We no longer all live within 10 minutes from one another. They've all grown up, gotten married, and bought houses out in the middle of nowhere. I see them maybe once a month, which is more than how often I saw them when I was in college, but it's still not much.

As for my college friends, they're all at least 3 hours away. Some are still in PA but half way or the entire way across the state. Some are in DC which isn't really that far away, but to think of driving 5 hours after being at work 45 hours a week is not exactly appealing. And it's hard to even keep in touch through the phone or email. I send text messages while at work and sometimes emails too, but they're hardly the same. I haven't spoken to my best friend from undergrad for a week. It's sad. We roomed together for 3 years talking all the time and now we hardly speak to each other at all.

Not only is there the physical divide between my friends and me, there is also a mental divide. Some of my friends have been working real jobs for two years now, saved up money, gotten married, and even want to start having kids. One side of me is really jealous because I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I want to have that too. But at the same time, neither of us has been working steady 9-5 jobs at all until recently. My boyfriend probably will never work a job like that and is looking for a new job, and I just started my job a month and don't even know if it will last. So because I don't feel like I'm on the same page as these people, I don't always want to be around them. They just show me what I want and can't have right now. Childish as it may be, it's how I feel. And my boyfriend and I both have friends like that. We want to spend time with them because they're our friends, but at the same time, I know I will come away from my time with them feeling like a screw up.

The other thing that gets to me is the fact that I don't ever have the energy to do anything. Unless it's the weekend, I'm spent by the time I get home from work. I could call one of my friends who lives far away and talk with them, but I don't. I could send emails to people, but I don't. If I'm curious about someone, I'll go on Facebook or something and look at their status. How messed up is that? Instead of calling someone to see how they're doing, I just check an online post. And I know I never update mine, so what makes me think that these people will update theirs?

This is such a whiny post. But at least I'm getting it out of my head. Sometimes writing it down helps to clear it from your head and then it won't affect your mood as much. We'll see about that I guess.