So I'm back to hating my job again today. It didn't take long from the point where I thought things were going ok (last Friday when they offered me regular full time employment) to me wanting to quit again. I had a general feeling of unappreciation today, starting pretty much from the minute I got to work. I should have known it was going to be a bad day just because it's Tuesday. Tuesday's are always the worst days of the week.
To begin, my parents called me downstairs this morning after I get out of the shower. They said that "I have to come down and see this". My immediate thought was that I probably didn't want to see whatever was down there. But I headed down the stairs anyway. I got to the bottom and I heard my dad say, "Don't let it get in the kitchen." There's another red flag. Whatever I'm supposed to be looking at is something that is alive and shouldn't be in the house. I started thinking about what's been in the house recently. A squirrel? Nope, it's not a squirrel. A bat like at the old house? Nope, not a bat either. It's a mouse. The cats had been playing with it all morning. They were actually batting it across the wooden floor to each other before I came downstairs. That's what I wasted 5 minutes of my morning with. Because of this, my entire morning routine was off and I ended up forgetting to put make up on. Luckily I had some eye liner and eye shadow in my purse, but I wasn't able to cover up all the wonderful zits on my face.
I got into work and things were fine at the beginning. Then a coworker came up to me and proceeded to tell me how she's sorry that she didn't give me credit for a document that I created, which she had sent out to all the departments to use for presentations. Awesome. I spent at least 30 minutes to an hour creating this template document and I was going to present it during our department's presentation, but now everyone has it and probably thinks that this coworker created it. Great. The day was getting worse and it wasn't even 8AM yet.
As soon as my supervisor got in there were double the amount of tasks for me to do because she likes to dump things on me. I guess that's part of my job, but still, it sucks. So, first off I had to fight with the guy we bought our PA system from earlier this month. The one we ordered was out of stock and we had to figure something else out. Of course I had to fight with the guy about it. Then, there was a worker's comp case that happened late yesterday. I had to figure out how to file a claim and deal with that shit. Somehow it was after 10 once I figured some of that out.
The next bit of underappreciation came from the temp who started last week. She had to update a contact list with people from each department. It was updated to reflect this person who was hired late last month but my name wasn't updated and I started two months ago. I mentioned that to the temp and she was like, "Well I just updated it." Well you didn't do your f-ing job properly, so do it again. I don't care if it makes you look incompetent. We've all had those moments so suck it up. Of course, I never said any of that to her because I'm not confrontational. So I'm sure it'll never get done.
In the afternoon, during my meeting with my boss I asked about my newly acquired benefits of vacation time and personal days. According to the policy, if you're hired before September 1 you get 3 personal days, but if you're hired after you only get 1. I was hired as a temp before the date, but my change in status came after, so I wanted to see which date they'd use to determine my personal days. Of course they use yesterday's date so I only get 1 personal day for the rest of the year. Same goes for vacation: I only start accruing hours starting yesterday. That means that I've accrued about a half hour of vacation time. Super. It's like I didn't even exist in the company for the first 8 1/2 weeks.
Finally, after my meeting with my boss I find an email from the assistant in a different department. It states that every year there is a "Girls Night Out" and gift exchange, presumably between all the assistants (which technically I'm not - my title has been changed to HR Associate thanks to my whining). Apparently my supervisor volunteered me into organizing this shit. Awesome. Thanks so freaking much. Now I have to organize an event I care next to nothing about, nor want to be a part of. I also will have to be involved in a gift exchange with a bunch of 30-somethings who are absolutely nothing like me. This happened with 20 minutes left in my day. There were also two new tasks left on my desk for me to do before the end of the day too. Thanks. One more reason to be pissed at the world.
So the end of the day came and I thought I could just go home to commiserate. Nope, wrong again. My mom calls (for the second time after leaving me a voice mail) right before I'm about to leave work. I answer and she wants me to meet her and my dad at a car dealership a little further south from where my office is. I figure I could probably get a free meal at a restaurant out of it so I said I'd meet them there. I got to the car dealership 10 minutes before they get there and then, once they got there, I spent 5 minutes looking at the car they're interested in before my mom says that I can go home if I want. No dinner? Nope, there's soup on the stove at home. Great. So not only did I drive 10 miles out of my way to look at a car for 5 minutes, I have to cook something for myself when I get home. I get home about 45 minutes later than I normally do, the animals are practically gnawing on my ankles for their dinner which was a half hour late, and I have to find something that I'd actually want to eat for dinner.
And apparently Jordan Staal fought someone in the game tonight, which is conveniently on NHL Network, a channel we aren't subscribers for. Thanks life! I owe you one! I think I'll be going to bed before 9 tonight just to make the day end that much sooner. FML.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Real Job, Here I Come
Good news for me! On Friday, I was finally offered regular, full-time employment thank god. On top of dropping the temporary status, I got a pay increase and I'm eligible for health insurance. That was my main concern with getting to regular, full-time status since my health insurance from my dad was ending at the end of this month. Now I don't have to worry about that, which is a relief. And I'm eligible for personal days and paid leave too.
Friday morning I spoke with my boss about tasks that I had to do that day and he scheduled a meeting for that afternoon that was just labeled with my name. I had a feeling that this meeting would be about my future since I had spoken to my boss about it the week before. It was still kinda awkward because my boss has a very long-winded way of explaining anything so for the first 15 minutes of the meeting, he explained the thought process behind the decision. So instead of just saying, we're giving you a pay raise, he explained how this followed past precedent and how the company compensation plan is structured. I tried to act interested because it's knowledge about the company, but at the same time all I wanted to do was look through my offer letter and see what my raise would be.
He also went into the recruiting process for the job and that they picked me because they think that I can have good potential to grow with the company and blah blah blah. It was interesting information to hear about, but again I just want to read over my offer letter. So I sit there waiting to get to the interesting part and eventually we do get there. The offer letter though states that my job title is HR Assistant instead of HR Associate, which is the title of the job that I applied for. It's a stupid thing to focus on, but still, I feel like 'Associate' sounds a little higher up or something than 'Assistant'. I know that my job is clerical in nature and I'm still an hourly employee, which kinda sucks, but I feel I'm worth more than that. Because of this, I don't think that this experience would count toward getting my PHR (Professional of Human Resources) Certification. For the PHR you need two years of exempt-level HR experience, and my job is non-exempt. Hopefully somewhere in my future, I'll be able to move up. You never know.
For now though, I'm going to be happy that my job is 'real' and that I can have all the perks of a 'real' job. The next step will be getting an apartment, which I hope to do by the beginning of 2010. John is still trying to find a job so we might have to wait until he finds something before we start seriously looking at apartments. I'm ready to move out though. Living with my parents is getting pretty old, as is the commute to work. Hopefully, we'll be able to move soon.
Friday morning I spoke with my boss about tasks that I had to do that day and he scheduled a meeting for that afternoon that was just labeled with my name. I had a feeling that this meeting would be about my future since I had spoken to my boss about it the week before. It was still kinda awkward because my boss has a very long-winded way of explaining anything so for the first 15 minutes of the meeting, he explained the thought process behind the decision. So instead of just saying, we're giving you a pay raise, he explained how this followed past precedent and how the company compensation plan is structured. I tried to act interested because it's knowledge about the company, but at the same time all I wanted to do was look through my offer letter and see what my raise would be.
He also went into the recruiting process for the job and that they picked me because they think that I can have good potential to grow with the company and blah blah blah. It was interesting information to hear about, but again I just want to read over my offer letter. So I sit there waiting to get to the interesting part and eventually we do get there. The offer letter though states that my job title is HR Assistant instead of HR Associate, which is the title of the job that I applied for. It's a stupid thing to focus on, but still, I feel like 'Associate' sounds a little higher up or something than 'Assistant'. I know that my job is clerical in nature and I'm still an hourly employee, which kinda sucks, but I feel I'm worth more than that. Because of this, I don't think that this experience would count toward getting my PHR (Professional of Human Resources) Certification. For the PHR you need two years of exempt-level HR experience, and my job is non-exempt. Hopefully somewhere in my future, I'll be able to move up. You never know.
For now though, I'm going to be happy that my job is 'real' and that I can have all the perks of a 'real' job. The next step will be getting an apartment, which I hope to do by the beginning of 2010. John is still trying to find a job so we might have to wait until he finds something before we start seriously looking at apartments. I'm ready to move out though. Living with my parents is getting pretty old, as is the commute to work. Hopefully, we'll be able to move soon.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Carpool? More like poor call (almost an anagram)
I live far away from my office. I spend about $200 a month in gas alone. It would make sense to carpool with a coworker who lives close by, right? That's what I thought, until I was actually participating in this said carpool. How is it that I always attract the weirdos?
First off, Mr. Carpool, we'll call him, tends to leave earlier than I do. So I have to get ready a little quicker than usual because there's no way I'm getting up any earlier than I already do. We are meeting at a park and ride lot that I pass on my way to the highway, which is convenient, but it's a bitch to pull out of in the morning. We also now have to coordinate our schedules at the end of the day too. All in all, the carpooling makes me leave earlier in the morning and get home later in the day, as well as clutter my mind up with coordinating schedules. Annoyance level = 2 out of 10.
Second, Mr. Carpool is old enough to be my dad. This gets me thinking about all the movies and story lines that have stemmed from middle aged guys and young female coworkers and I was immediately uncomfortable. Now this scenario would never be possible and I gag thinking about it, but still, I don't trust people and I especially don't trust what people think. As we were pulling into work this morning, there were coworkers watching us, and I just know that people are going to wonder why we're driving into work together. And this guy has to say hello to everyone. He even stops the car to talk to people. Is that really necessary? No, it's not at all. Annoyance level = 4.5 out of 10.
Third, Mr. Carpool is a bizarre driver. Now, I know I'm no saint when driving, especially in traffic, but this guy is weird. He is constantly looking down at the speedometer (I think). Seriously, every two seconds or so, he glances down at it, but it's not a subtle glance with his eyes. No no, he visibly moves his head and moves his hand out of the way. (A) Stop looking at the goddamn speedometer, (B) Newsflash: you can move your eyes without moving your entire head, and (C) Don't put your hand in your line of sight if you're going to look in the same place every second. Who does that? Annoyance level = 8 out of 10.
Finally, on the way home today, we had the windows down for a bit and I was fine with that. I moved the window down a little further and he suggested that we put the air on in the car. That's fine, I prefer air conditioning. Haha joke's on me, there is no air conditioning, just the stupid fan set on the cool setting. This actually means humid lukewarm air is now blowing on me. Awesome. So now not only am I mentally uncomfortable, but also physically uncomfortable too! Double trouble! Annoyance level = 10 out of 10.
Oh, and I didn't even get into the conversation. It revolves around sports because I am a guy in that respect. Whatever, I can talk sports with people. Mr. Carpool is a Penguins fan and a Steelers fan. Fine, I can roll with that. The problem, he talks about the same shit over and over and over again. And he laughs at his own jokes, if you can even call them jokes. This just makes the other annoyances that much worse.
When I was driving it wasn't that bad since I had something to do. Being the passenger was the worst. Now I need to think of reasons not to carpool anymore. I mean there is a positive in that I can save money, but I don't know if it's worth the aggravation. We aren't carpooling the rest of this week because Mr. Carpool is unavailable tomorrow and I made up an excuse for Friday. I have an excuse for Monday lined up because I'm starting a Pilates class after work. I think I should just tell him it's not working out for me because it's adding time to my commute or something. I'm not good at telling people news they don't want to hear. And I have to work with this guy regularly so I don't want to piss him off. I really need to learn how to say no though. Oh well. That's my current drama and hopefully I can resolve it quickly.
First off, Mr. Carpool, we'll call him, tends to leave earlier than I do. So I have to get ready a little quicker than usual because there's no way I'm getting up any earlier than I already do. We are meeting at a park and ride lot that I pass on my way to the highway, which is convenient, but it's a bitch to pull out of in the morning. We also now have to coordinate our schedules at the end of the day too. All in all, the carpooling makes me leave earlier in the morning and get home later in the day, as well as clutter my mind up with coordinating schedules. Annoyance level = 2 out of 10.
Second, Mr. Carpool is old enough to be my dad. This gets me thinking about all the movies and story lines that have stemmed from middle aged guys and young female coworkers and I was immediately uncomfortable. Now this scenario would never be possible and I gag thinking about it, but still, I don't trust people and I especially don't trust what people think. As we were pulling into work this morning, there were coworkers watching us, and I just know that people are going to wonder why we're driving into work together. And this guy has to say hello to everyone. He even stops the car to talk to people. Is that really necessary? No, it's not at all. Annoyance level = 4.5 out of 10.
Third, Mr. Carpool is a bizarre driver. Now, I know I'm no saint when driving, especially in traffic, but this guy is weird. He is constantly looking down at the speedometer (I think). Seriously, every two seconds or so, he glances down at it, but it's not a subtle glance with his eyes. No no, he visibly moves his head and moves his hand out of the way. (A) Stop looking at the goddamn speedometer, (B) Newsflash: you can move your eyes without moving your entire head, and (C) Don't put your hand in your line of sight if you're going to look in the same place every second. Who does that? Annoyance level = 8 out of 10.
Finally, on the way home today, we had the windows down for a bit and I was fine with that. I moved the window down a little further and he suggested that we put the air on in the car. That's fine, I prefer air conditioning. Haha joke's on me, there is no air conditioning, just the stupid fan set on the cool setting. This actually means humid lukewarm air is now blowing on me. Awesome. So now not only am I mentally uncomfortable, but also physically uncomfortable too! Double trouble! Annoyance level = 10 out of 10.
Oh, and I didn't even get into the conversation. It revolves around sports because I am a guy in that respect. Whatever, I can talk sports with people. Mr. Carpool is a Penguins fan and a Steelers fan. Fine, I can roll with that. The problem, he talks about the same shit over and over and over again. And he laughs at his own jokes, if you can even call them jokes. This just makes the other annoyances that much worse.
When I was driving it wasn't that bad since I had something to do. Being the passenger was the worst. Now I need to think of reasons not to carpool anymore. I mean there is a positive in that I can save money, but I don't know if it's worth the aggravation. We aren't carpooling the rest of this week because Mr. Carpool is unavailable tomorrow and I made up an excuse for Friday. I have an excuse for Monday lined up because I'm starting a Pilates class after work. I think I should just tell him it's not working out for me because it's adding time to my commute or something. I'm not good at telling people news they don't want to hear. And I have to work with this guy regularly so I don't want to piss him off. I really need to learn how to say no though. Oh well. That's my current drama and hopefully I can resolve it quickly.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
My life as an episode of The Office
Imagine this: You are called into your boss's office along with three other relatively new employees and are told that you will be the judging committee for displays put up by each department in the company. The other employees: two Indian transfers from the India branch of the company and the new janitor, who started two days prior. You are told that you are to choose one winner and three runners up based on creativity, effectiveness of the display, and involvement of the employees within the department. You are also told that one of you will have to speak at the company picnic the next day and announce the winners.
You then realize that it will be you who is speaking at the picnic because two of the other committee members have Indian accents and won't be understood by everyone and the other committee member hasn't been there for a full week yet. You on the other hand have only been there for six weeks but somehow are still considered temporary. You are now hating your job and possibly your life in general. This is only the beginning though. You know that you are inevitably going to piss some people off. There can only be one winner, and there are a lot of displays that are good. And you know that everyone likes to blame the messenger. Lucky you.
This was my life last Wednesday. As much as I tried to pawn off the speaking part onto the other group members, I was still stuck with the task of announcing at the picnic at the end of the day. So after our group came up with our winner and runners up, I got to dwell on the fact that I had to speak in front of 100 people. Did I mention that I hate public speaking?
Anyway, after tossing and turning all night long, I get to work the next day and have to make certificates for the winners we chose as well as certificates for another set of awards being handed out that day. I guess I should probably begin by explaining the whole company picnic process in a little more detail, since this isn't your everyday picnic. This is when I would call in the NBC crew to start filming. The picnic takes place during an extended lunch hour during a regular work day. A few departments sponsor the picnic, choose a theme, and put the thing together. The theme of this picnic was "Country-Western".
To make this an authentic picnic, one of the conference rooms was converted into a tavern scene where "Old Time Photos" could be taken. This room was complete with a hay bale, props such as a wagon wheel, a bottle of beer (empty of course) and a bottle of Jack Daniels (also empty of course), and clothing so you could dress up for the photo. The patio outside was also decorated with hay bales to sit on, western decorations, country music playing, and a real horse. Yes, someone had a friend bring in a horse.
The horse was the main attraction of the day and the owner actually gave grown adults pony rides in the parking lot. How many people can say that they got to ride a horse at the office? Well, my hand is raised. I digress though. Before the festivities could begin, speeches had to be made. The president of the company was supposed to speak, but he didn't want to. He backed out that morning and everyone was running around freaking out. Then, the first speaker who had actually agreed to speak was nowhere to be found. He wandered outside about 15 minutes later (intentional, I think). The other set of awards were handed out and people talked about what they did to earn them and then the big moment for me came.
My supervisor introduced me and I had to grab the mike and go for it. I have never really used a microphone before and I'm not very comfortable with them, so I was nervous. It also didn't help that there was feedback for the first few speakers and they had been fiddling with the volume a bunch of times. Regardless, I had the mike and all eyes were on me. I was so freaked out that I can't even tell you what I said in front of everyone. I rushed through it so fast in order to get it over with. People said I did a good job, but I know I sounded like an idiot. I didn't stumble or trip over my words or anything, so I guess I should be happy about that. At least everyone at the company knows me now.
After that, I could finally breathe again, but my stomach was still not quite right. You see, I actually make myself physically ill worrying about public speaking. I did that to myself in college once too when I was supposed to present in front of a political science class. In that case though, I never had to give the presentation though because the professor got sick and it was the last day of class. I was kinda hoping something like that would happen for the picnic too so I could get out of it, but no such luck.
The fun had only begun at that point because I managed to piss off the IT department and the Finance department with my awards. Apparently IT thought their display was hot shit and deserved to win. They had set up a TV monitor and put together a slide show of clips. The department refused their prize (a basket of candy) and the certificate and promptly turned off their TV. The one guy in the department also threw a temper tantrum and refused to speak to anyone in HR the rest of the day. I still catch him giving me dirty looks too when I see him. The Finance department was more diplomatic about their loss, but also looked at the winner's display, found a typo and brought it to everyone's attention. Seriously people? It's a recognition activity, not the Olympics. I think most people missed the memo about how this was supposed to be fun. So now I feel like I'm being judged by Finance and I am unable to call IT for anything in fear of retaliation from sore losers.
To top it off at the end of the picnic, my supervisor who is in charge of interviewing people for jobs, is called downstairs. An employee referred his friend for a temporary position we have opening up. We weren't going to call this lady back, but she was there that day. You want to know who it was? The lady who brought the horse!! My supervisor had to interview her because she had just brought us a freaking horse for our company picnic. The moral of the story: If you want a job, bring them a horse for their company picnic and they can't ignore you.
All in all, it was the most ridiculous day I think I've had in a long time. When I tried telling my friends about my day, I could hardly believe it myself. The working world is so bizarre sometimes.
You then realize that it will be you who is speaking at the picnic because two of the other committee members have Indian accents and won't be understood by everyone and the other committee member hasn't been there for a full week yet. You on the other hand have only been there for six weeks but somehow are still considered temporary. You are now hating your job and possibly your life in general. This is only the beginning though. You know that you are inevitably going to piss some people off. There can only be one winner, and there are a lot of displays that are good. And you know that everyone likes to blame the messenger. Lucky you.
This was my life last Wednesday. As much as I tried to pawn off the speaking part onto the other group members, I was still stuck with the task of announcing at the picnic at the end of the day. So after our group came up with our winner and runners up, I got to dwell on the fact that I had to speak in front of 100 people. Did I mention that I hate public speaking?
Anyway, after tossing and turning all night long, I get to work the next day and have to make certificates for the winners we chose as well as certificates for another set of awards being handed out that day. I guess I should probably begin by explaining the whole company picnic process in a little more detail, since this isn't your everyday picnic. This is when I would call in the NBC crew to start filming. The picnic takes place during an extended lunch hour during a regular work day. A few departments sponsor the picnic, choose a theme, and put the thing together. The theme of this picnic was "Country-Western".
To make this an authentic picnic, one of the conference rooms was converted into a tavern scene where "Old Time Photos" could be taken. This room was complete with a hay bale, props such as a wagon wheel, a bottle of beer (empty of course) and a bottle of Jack Daniels (also empty of course), and clothing so you could dress up for the photo. The patio outside was also decorated with hay bales to sit on, western decorations, country music playing, and a real horse. Yes, someone had a friend bring in a horse.
The horse was the main attraction of the day and the owner actually gave grown adults pony rides in the parking lot. How many people can say that they got to ride a horse at the office? Well, my hand is raised. I digress though. Before the festivities could begin, speeches had to be made. The president of the company was supposed to speak, but he didn't want to. He backed out that morning and everyone was running around freaking out. Then, the first speaker who had actually agreed to speak was nowhere to be found. He wandered outside about 15 minutes later (intentional, I think). The other set of awards were handed out and people talked about what they did to earn them and then the big moment for me came.
My supervisor introduced me and I had to grab the mike and go for it. I have never really used a microphone before and I'm not very comfortable with them, so I was nervous. It also didn't help that there was feedback for the first few speakers and they had been fiddling with the volume a bunch of times. Regardless, I had the mike and all eyes were on me. I was so freaked out that I can't even tell you what I said in front of everyone. I rushed through it so fast in order to get it over with. People said I did a good job, but I know I sounded like an idiot. I didn't stumble or trip over my words or anything, so I guess I should be happy about that. At least everyone at the company knows me now.
After that, I could finally breathe again, but my stomach was still not quite right. You see, I actually make myself physically ill worrying about public speaking. I did that to myself in college once too when I was supposed to present in front of a political science class. In that case though, I never had to give the presentation though because the professor got sick and it was the last day of class. I was kinda hoping something like that would happen for the picnic too so I could get out of it, but no such luck.
The fun had only begun at that point because I managed to piss off the IT department and the Finance department with my awards. Apparently IT thought their display was hot shit and deserved to win. They had set up a TV monitor and put together a slide show of clips. The department refused their prize (a basket of candy) and the certificate and promptly turned off their TV. The one guy in the department also threw a temper tantrum and refused to speak to anyone in HR the rest of the day. I still catch him giving me dirty looks too when I see him. The Finance department was more diplomatic about their loss, but also looked at the winner's display, found a typo and brought it to everyone's attention. Seriously people? It's a recognition activity, not the Olympics. I think most people missed the memo about how this was supposed to be fun. So now I feel like I'm being judged by Finance and I am unable to call IT for anything in fear of retaliation from sore losers.
To top it off at the end of the picnic, my supervisor who is in charge of interviewing people for jobs, is called downstairs. An employee referred his friend for a temporary position we have opening up. We weren't going to call this lady back, but she was there that day. You want to know who it was? The lady who brought the horse!! My supervisor had to interview her because she had just brought us a freaking horse for our company picnic. The moral of the story: If you want a job, bring them a horse for their company picnic and they can't ignore you.
All in all, it was the most ridiculous day I think I've had in a long time. When I tried telling my friends about my day, I could hardly believe it myself. The working world is so bizarre sometimes.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Where are my friends?
I know this is a common thing for all people, especially those who have recently graduated from college, but where did all my friends go? It's tough to keep in touch with everyone once we've all left college and scattered around the country. I'm lucky that I came back to my home town and there are still friends from high school around, but even they have moved around too. We no longer all live within 10 minutes from one another. They've all grown up, gotten married, and bought houses out in the middle of nowhere. I see them maybe once a month, which is more than how often I saw them when I was in college, but it's still not much.
As for my college friends, they're all at least 3 hours away. Some are still in PA but half way or the entire way across the state. Some are in DC which isn't really that far away, but to think of driving 5 hours after being at work 45 hours a week is not exactly appealing. And it's hard to even keep in touch through the phone or email. I send text messages while at work and sometimes emails too, but they're hardly the same. I haven't spoken to my best friend from undergrad for a week. It's sad. We roomed together for 3 years talking all the time and now we hardly speak to each other at all.
Not only is there the physical divide between my friends and me, there is also a mental divide. Some of my friends have been working real jobs for two years now, saved up money, gotten married, and even want to start having kids. One side of me is really jealous because I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I want to have that too. But at the same time, neither of us has been working steady 9-5 jobs at all until recently. My boyfriend probably will never work a job like that and is looking for a new job, and I just started my job a month and don't even know if it will last. So because I don't feel like I'm on the same page as these people, I don't always want to be around them. They just show me what I want and can't have right now. Childish as it may be, it's how I feel. And my boyfriend and I both have friends like that. We want to spend time with them because they're our friends, but at the same time, I know I will come away from my time with them feeling like a screw up.
The other thing that gets to me is the fact that I don't ever have the energy to do anything. Unless it's the weekend, I'm spent by the time I get home from work. I could call one of my friends who lives far away and talk with them, but I don't. I could send emails to people, but I don't. If I'm curious about someone, I'll go on Facebook or something and look at their status. How messed up is that? Instead of calling someone to see how they're doing, I just check an online post. And I know I never update mine, so what makes me think that these people will update theirs?
This is such a whiny post. But at least I'm getting it out of my head. Sometimes writing it down helps to clear it from your head and then it won't affect your mood as much. We'll see about that I guess.
As for my college friends, they're all at least 3 hours away. Some are still in PA but half way or the entire way across the state. Some are in DC which isn't really that far away, but to think of driving 5 hours after being at work 45 hours a week is not exactly appealing. And it's hard to even keep in touch through the phone or email. I send text messages while at work and sometimes emails too, but they're hardly the same. I haven't spoken to my best friend from undergrad for a week. It's sad. We roomed together for 3 years talking all the time and now we hardly speak to each other at all.
Not only is there the physical divide between my friends and me, there is also a mental divide. Some of my friends have been working real jobs for two years now, saved up money, gotten married, and even want to start having kids. One side of me is really jealous because I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I want to have that too. But at the same time, neither of us has been working steady 9-5 jobs at all until recently. My boyfriend probably will never work a job like that and is looking for a new job, and I just started my job a month and don't even know if it will last. So because I don't feel like I'm on the same page as these people, I don't always want to be around them. They just show me what I want and can't have right now. Childish as it may be, it's how I feel. And my boyfriend and I both have friends like that. We want to spend time with them because they're our friends, but at the same time, I know I will come away from my time with them feeling like a screw up.
The other thing that gets to me is the fact that I don't ever have the energy to do anything. Unless it's the weekend, I'm spent by the time I get home from work. I could call one of my friends who lives far away and talk with them, but I don't. I could send emails to people, but I don't. If I'm curious about someone, I'll go on Facebook or something and look at their status. How messed up is that? Instead of calling someone to see how they're doing, I just check an online post. And I know I never update mine, so what makes me think that these people will update theirs?
This is such a whiny post. But at least I'm getting it out of my head. Sometimes writing it down helps to clear it from your head and then it won't affect your mood as much. We'll see about that I guess.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Being a temp sucks
Introduction: Hi, I'm 24 years old and trying to start my 'adult' life now. I graduated from grad school in May and found a job recently that is hardly what I expected I'd get after graduation. This blog will just be a way for me to vent about trying to find my way in the 'real world'. I named it my quarter life crisis because I feel like I fit the symptoms and I know that a lot of other people my age feel the same. If you haven't heard the term before, visit Quarter Life Crisis. So I don't know how long this blog will keep my interest, or anyone else's for that matter, but it'll be therapeutic.
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So I'm quickly learning about what it's like to be at the bottom of an organization. I've been with this company for 4 weeks now, but I'm definitely the lowest on the totem pole. I know that I make the least amount of money in the company since I was given access to the salary information today. It's less than encouraging to know that 6 years of college, 3 degrees, and over $100,000 spent on college gets me an assistant position that someone with only a high school diploma is also qualified for. I have to keep telling myself that it's good experience and can lead to better things one day, inside or outside of this company.
The other part of my job that is awful is my temporary status. I applied for a regular full time position with this company and they hired me as a temp because I could work for them immediately. I'm still 'in consideration' for the position I applied for, but I have this temporary thing until the end of the month. I guess they were still interviewing people when I started and me being temporary would make it easy for them to dump me if I wasn't working out. I still don't like being a temp though. Being a temp doesn't really suit my personality in the first place since I like to have a plan for everything, but I've gotten over that. The thing that still gets to me is what the temporary status means to my coworkers. Some completely ignore me and act like I'm not there unless they need me for something, or they want to critique my performance. I guess they figure I will be gone soon enough and they don't need to care about the way they treat me. Hopefully I can get the regular full time position and then return the treatment on them (although that wouldn't be very nice of me and won't get me very far with the company). The other thing I heard from coworkers was that they thought I was from a temp agency, which causes even more of a divide between me and my coworkers. I did some research on the divide between temps and regular employees in school two years ago and I guess now I know what all my research findings meant.
I'm pretty sure that I will be offered the regular full time position at the end of the month, but I still can't be 100% sure. I have been given many hints towards my permanence, but nothing concrete. But I don't know how much I want to work for this company. It's a 40 minute one way drive to and from work everyday and that's getting pretty old. My only other option though is to get my own place. I don't know if I'll be making enough money to afford an apartment, let alone pay for bills and get a new car. My boyfriend and I both want to get out of our parents' houses, but he's trying to find a new job and is only working 10 hours a week right now. I can't say I don't want this job though because this was one of two interviews that I had throughout the entire summer of job searching. This was the only in-person interview and obviously my only offer. It's so sad that I was only able to find one job when I applied for about 20 over the course of 2 months. I guess that's the market right now, although I feel like things are improving.
One thing that I am looking forward to, so long as I am still working at this job, is the opportunity to go to Southpointe to see the Penguins practice during lunch breaks. The Iceoplex is about 5 minutes away from my building and I can't wait for practices to start up so I can watch them skate (and maybe stalk them a little). I only want to get my Letang jersey signed and maybe a picture with him... Staalzy would be nice too :-) There's a least one other Pens fan that I work with who will be up to going to practice too, so I don't have to be a creepster by myself over there. I can't wait for hockey season to start back up again. I'm going through withdrawal and have been watching youtube videos of hockey fights and goals just to get a hockey fix. It's kinda sad actually. I read the Stanley Cup Journal on the Hockey Hall of Fame website every time they update (Tuesdays and Fridays) just to see what all the guys are doing with their time with the cup. I was spoiled during the playoffs when I could watch a game every other day, sometimes everyday. At least football season is almost here, so I can have something to watch on weekends. It's not hockey but it's a close second to watch.
So on a completely different note, I am planning a gift for my boyfriend for our anniversary at the end of the month. I'm making a scrapbook of memories from our 7 years together, but at this point it's just a vague plan that I need to get rolling. I have the memories picked out and I made a powerpoint to map out what I want to do (I'm super lame, I know). I just need to find the pictures and put the thing together. I only have 10 days to get it done and there are 20 pages to create. I'll be whipping it together at the last minute just like I always do with things like this. That's what I need to be working on and not posting useless messages on my blog. :-)
**************************************
So I'm quickly learning about what it's like to be at the bottom of an organization. I've been with this company for 4 weeks now, but I'm definitely the lowest on the totem pole. I know that I make the least amount of money in the company since I was given access to the salary information today. It's less than encouraging to know that 6 years of college, 3 degrees, and over $100,000 spent on college gets me an assistant position that someone with only a high school diploma is also qualified for. I have to keep telling myself that it's good experience and can lead to better things one day, inside or outside of this company.
The other part of my job that is awful is my temporary status. I applied for a regular full time position with this company and they hired me as a temp because I could work for them immediately. I'm still 'in consideration' for the position I applied for, but I have this temporary thing until the end of the month. I guess they were still interviewing people when I started and me being temporary would make it easy for them to dump me if I wasn't working out. I still don't like being a temp though. Being a temp doesn't really suit my personality in the first place since I like to have a plan for everything, but I've gotten over that. The thing that still gets to me is what the temporary status means to my coworkers. Some completely ignore me and act like I'm not there unless they need me for something, or they want to critique my performance. I guess they figure I will be gone soon enough and they don't need to care about the way they treat me. Hopefully I can get the regular full time position and then return the treatment on them (although that wouldn't be very nice of me and won't get me very far with the company). The other thing I heard from coworkers was that they thought I was from a temp agency, which causes even more of a divide between me and my coworkers. I did some research on the divide between temps and regular employees in school two years ago and I guess now I know what all my research findings meant.
I'm pretty sure that I will be offered the regular full time position at the end of the month, but I still can't be 100% sure. I have been given many hints towards my permanence, but nothing concrete. But I don't know how much I want to work for this company. It's a 40 minute one way drive to and from work everyday and that's getting pretty old. My only other option though is to get my own place. I don't know if I'll be making enough money to afford an apartment, let alone pay for bills and get a new car. My boyfriend and I both want to get out of our parents' houses, but he's trying to find a new job and is only working 10 hours a week right now. I can't say I don't want this job though because this was one of two interviews that I had throughout the entire summer of job searching. This was the only in-person interview and obviously my only offer. It's so sad that I was only able to find one job when I applied for about 20 over the course of 2 months. I guess that's the market right now, although I feel like things are improving.
One thing that I am looking forward to, so long as I am still working at this job, is the opportunity to go to Southpointe to see the Penguins practice during lunch breaks. The Iceoplex is about 5 minutes away from my building and I can't wait for practices to start up so I can watch them skate (and maybe stalk them a little). I only want to get my Letang jersey signed and maybe a picture with him... Staalzy would be nice too :-) There's a least one other Pens fan that I work with who will be up to going to practice too, so I don't have to be a creepster by myself over there. I can't wait for hockey season to start back up again. I'm going through withdrawal and have been watching youtube videos of hockey fights and goals just to get a hockey fix. It's kinda sad actually. I read the Stanley Cup Journal on the Hockey Hall of Fame website every time they update (Tuesdays and Fridays) just to see what all the guys are doing with their time with the cup. I was spoiled during the playoffs when I could watch a game every other day, sometimes everyday. At least football season is almost here, so I can have something to watch on weekends. It's not hockey but it's a close second to watch.
So on a completely different note, I am planning a gift for my boyfriend for our anniversary at the end of the month. I'm making a scrapbook of memories from our 7 years together, but at this point it's just a vague plan that I need to get rolling. I have the memories picked out and I made a powerpoint to map out what I want to do (I'm super lame, I know). I just need to find the pictures and put the thing together. I only have 10 days to get it done and there are 20 pages to create. I'll be whipping it together at the last minute just like I always do with things like this. That's what I need to be working on and not posting useless messages on my blog. :-)
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